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For Queer Ladies, What Matters as Losing Your Virginity?

Friday, February 7th, 2020

For Queer Ladies, What Matters as Losing Your Virginity?

When I installed with somebody, we snuck up out of bed and to the darkness of my balcony, alone. a stressed wreck, we texted my pal, practically hyperventilating due to one thing I’d never likely to be concerned about at all.

Dreaming about a solution, we texted: have always been we nevertheless a virgin if I experienced intercourse with a lady?

My buddy asked what I thought, but i must say i didn’t understand. The woman I’d slept with defined intercourse as penetration, therefore by her meaning, we hadn’t had intercourse. She, because the older, long-time queer when you look at the hookup, had the hand that is upper. I did son’t think it had been as much as me personally. All things considered, exactly exactly exactly what did I’m sure concerning the guidelines of girl-on-girl intercourse, not to mention what matters as losing your virginity? Can it be sex if perhaps half for the social people involved thought it absolutely was?

In my opinion, it felt want it must be intercourse, because or even intercourse, the thing that was it?

It had been a panic We never likely to feel. I happened to be super open-minded. I happened to be super feminist. I ought to have already been beyond delighted and empowered because of the undeniable fact that I’d had a confident intimate encounter. But alternatively of cuddling the lady I became sleeping with and basking within our post-sex glow, or also vocalizing my worry over whether or not we’d just had sex, I happened to be panicking in solitude.

My identification happens to be a blur—i’m biracial , bisexual, and queer—and it is a thing that makes me feel murky, not sure of who i will be. (more…)